today i am in a really foul mood.. i also dunno what happen to myself.. but i definitely know that i am thinking a lot of things again today..
was chatting with huijuan in the morning.. so i asked her if she had talked to Mr A re my embarassing event.. well, so she said that she will not do anything, cos i din say anything as well... but i ask her for advice.. should i juz treat it as if nothing had happen?? is it the correct thing to do? and she replied me.. "if u wan to talk it out once and for all at this time, it will be good to make use of this event. if u prefer to just let it be as how it used to be and see how things go, then be mum abt it..." omg, once and for all.. this is so sad.. meaning that there will be absolutely no chance liao... and juan next replied impact me even more ... "if it really is no more chance, the sooner u know it the better it is, no?".. and this keeps me thinking the whole day..
this made me think of some severe outcomes i am going to face.. remember theres a lot of times in the past, i wanted so much to confess, i juz love him so much... but in the end held back.. not cos i am scare of being rejected and thus losing pride.. but is bcos i am afraid of losing my "only friend" in my fellowship.. everytime when i wanted so much to confess, i would think.. what if after that, we wont share our troubles and worries on tuan qi and xiao zhu?? and my only one person whom i can confide with regarding to zhuzhangs troubles is also gone?? all this would prevent me from getting out the first steps.. i really cant imagine, if my only way of letting out my worries also gone, then what would have become of me? so now i am worrying.. tmr how to face him during prac? thot i already got over it yest, but dunno y it came back again today.. and i even thinking of dropping zhuzhang post, and changin church etc.. but some person say i am silly...
then somemore, in the afternoon.. i was quite moody, so click on someone to chat.. so click on *** and as we chat, i tease him being close with another person cos they seems very close in class today... and i end up being "nagged" by him.. and i end up very.. is very pissed with him, cos what he say is like so sacastic.. i was so pissed to the extend , i blocked him.. for the very first time, i blocking pple.. juz wanna shut his mouth.. and dun wanna talk to him.. despite that we are actually quite close friends.. however my foul mood today really make me double the pissness..
but then again, i block him on msn, think he know cos icq he can see me, and he posted an apology on icq to me.. since he apologise liao, so just forgive him and unblock him...
however, it seems like i am getting hook to blocking pple.. i decided to block one person.. the one i love the most.. but also hate the most.. i decided to block Mr A.. dun wanna talk to him.. i decided to block him for 1 week.. see how it goes.. but seriously i dun think it will change anything... and tmr night still gotta see him in church.. this is so frustrating!!
was chatting with huijuan in the morning.. so i asked her if she had talked to Mr A re my embarassing event.. well, so she said that she will not do anything, cos i din say anything as well... but i ask her for advice.. should i juz treat it as if nothing had happen?? is it the correct thing to do? and she replied me.. "if u wan to talk it out once and for all at this time, it will be good to make use of this event. if u prefer to just let it be as how it used to be and see how things go, then be mum abt it..." omg, once and for all.. this is so sad.. meaning that there will be absolutely no chance liao... and juan next replied impact me even more ... "if it really is no more chance, the sooner u know it the better it is, no?".. and this keeps me thinking the whole day..
this made me think of some severe outcomes i am going to face.. remember theres a lot of times in the past, i wanted so much to confess, i juz love him so much... but in the end held back.. not cos i am scare of being rejected and thus losing pride.. but is bcos i am afraid of losing my "only friend" in my fellowship.. everytime when i wanted so much to confess, i would think.. what if after that, we wont share our troubles and worries on tuan qi and xiao zhu?? and my only one person whom i can confide with regarding to zhuzhangs troubles is also gone?? all this would prevent me from getting out the first steps.. i really cant imagine, if my only way of letting out my worries also gone, then what would have become of me? so now i am worrying.. tmr how to face him during prac? thot i already got over it yest, but dunno y it came back again today.. and i even thinking of dropping zhuzhang post, and changin church etc.. but some person say i am silly...
then somemore, in the afternoon.. i was quite moody, so click on someone to chat.. so click on *** and as we chat, i tease him being close with another person cos they seems very close in class today... and i end up being "nagged" by him.. and i end up very.. is very pissed with him, cos what he say is like so sacastic.. i was so pissed to the extend , i blocked him.. for the very first time, i blocking pple.. juz wanna shut his mouth.. and dun wanna talk to him.. despite that we are actually quite close friends.. however my foul mood today really make me double the pissness..
but then again, i block him on msn, think he know cos icq he can see me, and he posted an apology on icq to me.. since he apologise liao, so just forgive him and unblock him...
however, it seems like i am getting hook to blocking pple.. i decided to block one person.. the one i love the most.. but also hate the most.. i decided to block Mr A.. dun wanna talk to him.. i decided to block him for 1 week.. see how it goes.. but seriously i dun think it will change anything... and tmr night still gotta see him in church.. this is so frustrating!!
