a few days ago, Corinne was still saying that she is afraid of exam period. not bcos of exams, but because bad things always come during exam periods.

just received news today.

i've seen lots of news of accident or disasters on news. but this time its someone deary to me..

i just couldn't accept it.

din i just chatted with her online a few days ago?

din we just talked about my "major decision"?

and now they become "those were the days......"

this is the first time i experience a direct friend leaving me..
i din know what to do now..

i din know what to do with her msn lying in my list......

i din know what to do with their handphone no. in my phonebook...

I just dunno how....

I feel so lost......

yanru is considered my closest elder youth in my church besides huijuan. she's my appointed mentor and had been my mentor since around 3 years ago..

we had been meeting irregularly. its all due to my fault.
despite that, she always made the effort to encourage me everytime and always gives me guildance whenever i need one from an elder. even after she left for Bahrain, we still did "online mentoring" thr msn.

and everytime half way thr chatting with me, around 11pm spore time, she would tell me that she need to go prepare dinner.. and i always suan her go go.. go and be zhu fan po...

and when asked by the mentor leader if i wanted a new mentor, i just dun want.

i love her so much.

looking at notes that she gave me.... theres one i still keep it in my pocket bible.. and everytime when i open it, i would see this note.. and i just read it last sunday... it was given to me after my pow wow smu orientation camp, i remembered i had a bad cough, and she pasted this note on top of a cough lozenges and gave it to me. i was so touched. and i ate the lozenges, and take out that note and paste it in my pocket bible since then.

I feel so regreted for not being able to meet her once during CNY when they came back...

now i could only say...

yanru and shizheng,

may you rest in eternal peace.......